MEET THE ROYAL CROW
While some of you have already made Sir Reginald's acquaintance (and have been granted to use the informal Reggie or Reg), many only know the legend...and not the crow. Thus this following effort to familiarize you, the adoring public, with his Reggieness...and to dispel some myths in the process.
SIR REGINALD FAQ
Q: How old is Sir Reginald?
A: Records are sketchy, but our best guess is 173. He is not, as he may tell you, 16. Nor is he an extreme sport champion, despite his chat board handle of skaterboy16.
Q: Is Sir Reginald married?
A: No, Reg is a confirmed bachelor. He has, however, been linked romantically to several well known ladies in the past - among them: Wallis Simpson, Greta Garbo, Sally Field, Lady Rockefeller, Cher, Honey Boo Boo, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and Phyllis Diller.
Q: What is Sir Reginald's affiliation with the Royal and Ancient Chappy Links?
A: Sir Reg's great grandfather Newton was brought to Chappaquiddick by Frank Marshall (the course's founder) from Scotland to drive the oxcart. As a young man, Reg would shadow Newton in everything that he did, and became quite enamored not only with the golf course, but the game itself. After Reg returned from the war, he took up residence in the Crow Bar as club magician, pianist, and sommelier. Unfortunately, there was the incident in '51 with Roosevelt's sheep...and he briefly left the country. It was during this hiatus from the club that he knighted by the queen for his heroics in the Falklands. Upon return to the Links in '93 (after Roosevelt's sheep had passed), Sir Reginald once again took his place in the Crow Bar, where he has been delighting youngsters and wooing ladies alike for all these years.
Q: Is Sir Reginald for hire?
A: Depends. Do you have excellent insurance?
Q: Can Sir Reginald read minds and bend time?
A: No. But he makes a mean gimlet.
Q: Isn't Sir Reginald actually a grackle?
A: You, madam, are out of line!!
We here at RACL hope the above helps you to better understand just why we adore Dear Reg so very, very much!